Short note before heading to bed

I am in a mood to write. A mood to write about my mood. I am obsessed. My thoughts have been going in circles all day. I am bathed in my mood, cradled, caressed. I close my eyes and I am there, surrounded, bathed in warmth. But I am not. My hands reach but touch not.

SS 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
SS 3:1 By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

Whenever I think if Solomon's Song of Songs I am reminded of a sermon in which it was mentioned that it is good for a wife lust over her husband, and a husband over his wife. It is God-designed. Hurry up, immigration.

Flyin' with the Fly Lady

For years my house has suffered from CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). But I have been organizing and de-cluttering for some time now with the intent to have the home I always wanted. Neat and Clean. I amassed several piles marked "garage sale", but a sale never happened for various reasons. I decided the stress of babysitting all those items until they found a new home was too stressful. Into my trunk and off to the Salvation Army bins they went. Three or 4 trunk-loads later I was feeling much better.

But now I wanted to really get serious. I asked my daughter if she knew of any websites to help. She sent me to http://www.flylady.net/ and wow, what a great website. That's where the term CHAOS is used like I wrote it above. I also learned you can't organize clutter. But the best part is, she makes it all fun and her methods work. 

He would be here sooner if he had sailed around the horn

I swear immigration is as slow as molasses in January and I don't know what the hold up is. I asked our lawyer and she said they are behind. So I asked, "What is the new time-frame?" She said between 9 and 12 months from filing to interview. Freakinhell it's already been 6 months since I filed and 8 months since I left him standing there at the airport looking like a lost puppy wrenched from the arms of the only love it had known. Life goes on. We deal with it, longing for the day when we are again together. We send romantic emails. It's one helluva long honeymoon. In a way, it's nice, but there is a lot of longing. Pictures on my computer just don't compete with actually looking into his Illyrian eyes and all the other wonderful things and his sexy accent that I hope he never looses.

In the meantime, I have been off on adventures that he longs to join me in. My daughter and I drove across America, well from Indiana to California, to visit my other daughter. We brought belongings and the pets in a rented minivan and flew home. I wanted to give my hubby an example of the distance. The best I could come up with was Prishtina to Istanbul Turkey. Everywhere in Europe was too close.

So I am now pet-free. I cried all day the first day home alone, mostly because I felt like I abandoned them, which was ridiculous because they are now living with their original kitty mommy. They have all settled in and are all happy and well cared for and I'm fine knowing they are.

So why did I give up the pets? There were a whole slew of reasons that just came together and concreted the decision. The first was living with my hubby for 6 weeks in a pet-free environment and appreciating the difference. The second was realizing how much he loves to wear black and knowing I can't walk through my house in black. And the third was realizing that Europeans in general are not used to having pets inside. I know in my heart that my hubby will have adjustments to make here, and I didn't want pet hair and pet odor to be part of it.

Off in a different direction now, my friend A :-)  posted an interesting story about a man drowning at sea who kept refusing help because he was waiting for God to save him. This is so like my neighbor. She is quite a bit older than me, twice divorced, and she has been praying for a husband for years. I feel sorry for her. She met someone a few years ago. She told me he was a real hunk. But she turned him away because he wasn't baptized into her church. The first thought that came to my mind was that he could have eventually joined her church. But she is still waiting for God to provide her with a husband. She dresses like a bag lady.  That is the honest truth. Three layers of baggy clothing even in summer, dumpy skirt, hose AND socks and tennis shoes. I went to church with her once. No one else dresses frumpy. All the women were wearing modern dresses just like anyone going to church. I gave her my mom's church clothes. She won't wear them. I don't care how straight-laced a person is, you should at least try to turn a head.

Coping With Separation

Some days I pause to bless the military wives, even though my separation is not the same, my hubby is not in a danger zone. But not a day goes by, not even an hour, that I don't think of him, dream of him, long for him. I am obsessed. I create pictures for him, search for cute love icons to include in emails. He does the same. We met online 15 months ago, got married 9 months ago, and 8 months ago I broke his heart when I flew home. I suppose it was a whirlwind courtship, but we knew. When I flew to Kosovo to meet him I was sure we would fall off the pedestals we had put each other upon, at least before the 6 weeks had passed. But no, we fell into forever and always, and this was the right choice, and the whole magic of new love. And now for months we are in limbo, the immigration waiting game. Status > Initial Review. The 5 month mark of them receiving the application came and went in April. So they are behind. Our lawyer was guessing he will have his interview in June, but many things need to happen first, and they haven't even started.

Pay It Forward

My friend is participating in a Pay It Forward project that sounds like fun. Here are the rules. I hope she doesn't mind that I did a copy and paste. 


1. I will send a surprise gift to the first three commenters on this post. The gift will be handmade by me. It will be sent sometime in the next 365 days. It will be a surprise what you get, when you get it. I will give you no warning whatsoever. 

2. To sign up and receive a gift, you must play along, too. Pay it Forward on your blog, by promising to make a surprise for the first three people who comment on the post.

3. You must have a blog (that is updated regularly, as I will blog stalk you to find the right gift for you  :-)).

4. After commenting here, you must repost this or something similar to your blog in 48 hours. If not, I will chose the next person who comments…

Think of it: a whole year to make something -  anything - to share. Sounds like great fun to me, and completely do-able in the next 365 days. So, my blogging friends - leave a comment and let's go!!